nothing ever changes. It's always the same in the end. Life is just a big circle. You're destined to fail in the end. It may seem like things are going good, but I assure you. They will crash for you as they have for me. Have no one appreciate you. No one remember anything you do for them. Just have people who you think are your friends talk shit about you behind your back. Have people just leave... without saying goodbye. Leave you all alone. This always seems to happen around this time of year. Nothing ever changes. Nothing ever will.
I hate christmas. all christmas does is remind me how much happier everyone else is and how unhappy I always seem to be. New years is no better because I end up celebrating alone. And my birthday? Well lets just say I haven't had a birthday party since atleast 1997. Always alone. No one around ever. I think its a game. Lets see how long we can keep calvin's hopes up before crushing his dreams. I don't even want to celebrate christmas this year. I don't want to be around anyone. Or anything right now. Just one person....who I don't even think is going to be around for much longer..
calvin7
life has been really stressful as of late.
1) I have no job.
2) We are having no luck whatsoever in finding a place
3) Girl problems..
I just ended a relationship I was so sure of two weeks ago. Why? Because the girl I loved so much... just stopped talking. She was never around. I grew away. The fact that she's into the booze really had no effect on it. It didn't matter what she was doing.. it was the fact that she had no time for me. When I told her she didn't even try to keep me. No effort whatsoever only proves my point. She just didn't care. Personally, I think this better for the both of us. She'll probably find someone there, and her life will improve drastically. I'm almost sure of this. He'll do what I could never do.
I still blame myself for this.. me being so far away only ruined things more when she needed someone the most. So she ran away. She ran from life. And ran from me. And things fell apart. Who knows what will happen now. I've began to connect with a different girl.. maybe she will connect with a new guy. I wish her the best. I hope she can escape her rut.
Hopefully life will improve for the both of us. =\
1) I have no job.
2) We are having no luck whatsoever in finding a place
3) Girl problems..
I just ended a relationship I was so sure of two weeks ago. Why? Because the girl I loved so much... just stopped talking. She was never around. I grew away. The fact that she's into the booze really had no effect on it. It didn't matter what she was doing.. it was the fact that she had no time for me. When I told her she didn't even try to keep me. No effort whatsoever only proves my point. She just didn't care. Personally, I think this better for the both of us. She'll probably find someone there, and her life will improve drastically. I'm almost sure of this. He'll do what I could never do.
I still blame myself for this.. me being so far away only ruined things more when she needed someone the most. So she ran away. She ran from life. And ran from me. And things fell apart. Who knows what will happen now. I've began to connect with a different girl.. maybe she will connect with a new guy. I wish her the best. I hope she can escape her rut.
Hopefully life will improve for the both of us. =\
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I couldn't tell you the troubles I've face this weekend. I've stressed myself out many times. I'm worried, scared... so many different feelings. But I need to stay strong for her.. be there for her. Do anything I can for her.. I love her.
This has been by far, the most challenging relationship I've ever been a part of. Usually its easy sailings.. until something comes up, and bam, its done. No second effort... nothing. It all just falls apart. That doesn't seem to be happening here. Instead we fight through it.. talk things through.. make an effort.. no matter what. Well, now comes our biggest challenge yet.. or well, its more a challenge for her then it is for me. But its me who needs to keep things together.. I won't allow things go crash.. I won't allow her to crash. it's not going to happen. Not now, not ever.
This has been by far, the most challenging relationship I've ever been a part of. Usually its easy sailings.. until something comes up, and bam, its done. No second effort... nothing. It all just falls apart. That doesn't seem to be happening here. Instead we fight through it.. talk things through.. make an effort.. no matter what. Well, now comes our biggest challenge yet.. or well, its more a challenge for her then it is for me. But its me who needs to keep things together.. I won't allow things go crash.. I won't allow her to crash. it's not going to happen. Not now, not ever.
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